Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Maybelline Queen ~ Yes to God Tuesday



Well I certainly got off track w/ my Yes to God Tuesday posts. A wedding, travelling back from the wedding... I didn't take time to write down what I had been digesting and learning from our book Behind Those Eyes by Lisa Whittle .

I missed a few weeks of posts. I am so glad to be back on track with Leila, our fearless leader, and my other bloggy sisters as we go through this book together. 2 chapters, whew... a lot to digest. There were so many points that struck me... and not enough time or space for me to post on what and how much resonated in my heart. (Quotes from the book are in bold italics)

The Massive Cover-Up

Chapters 6 & 7

Cosmetics for the Soul & The Feelings we Conceal



Cosmetics and Concealers... How these two chapters melded right into each other.

I have to admit... I LOVE make-up. I think I used to look at make-up as something I used to hide or cover up a flaw. Now I use make-up to enhance what the Lord has given me. I sometimes jokingly call myself The Maybelline Queen. I am not one of those gals who can't go out of the house w/out her makeup on and hair done... you would know that if you would run into me at the grocery on a Saturday morning. However, it wasn't so long ago that Maybelline Queen had a different meaning for me.

"Down deep inside, we as women know the truth: we have become experts at concealing things that we feel we need to keep hidden."

We have all been there. We wake up and there it is... the largest pimple ever! Right there, for all the world to see! We painstakingly use all kinds of concealers, foundations and powders to cover up this disgusting blemish on our face. Keeping that blemish hidden... or so we think it's hidden. Usually I try so hard to cover a blemish that it more than likely sticks out even more... I thought of our sins that way. No matter how hard we try to conceal them, cover them up... at some point in time they will be revealed. Just like Adam and Eve, they covered their nakedness w/ leaves, however God called them out. The charade cannot go on for long. God will eventually call us out too. He wants us to be real! He wants us to be healed not concealed!

"As women, we spend much of our lives trying to conceal things we don't want others to know about us."

As a teenager I was fearful of dating. All of my girlfriends were going out on dates, had boyfriends and were enjoying their High School dances. (I never went to a single high school dance - I was asked and I always had an excuse of why I couldn't go) What was really going on wasn't the excuse I always used "Oh, this weekend I will be at my mom's or this weekend I will be at my dad's." My fear of dating was linked to a fear of being abandoned. A fear of being left... it came from my parent's divorce. The divorce hurt & affected me more deeply than my tender age would let me understand at that time. That hurt and fear manifested itself in how I handled relationships. My make-up, my concealer at that time, and even into my young adult years - I am independent, I don't need anybody.

I recall my first serious boyfriend. I was a freshman in college and I fell in love with a sweet, young man. My best friend said "Miss Independent got herself a boyfriend!" Well, my make-up worked... I was seen as independent! I wasn't seen as afraid. It wasn't long (a few years into my relationship with this young man) that this cover up had to be dealt with. My heart was broken. My boyfriend of 2 and a half years left me for someone else. I had been abandoned. I was devastated. What was a girl to do? I became depressed. I made some pretty bad choices trying to conceal the hurt. Trying to bandage a broken heart with bad decisions. Living out on my own, partying, thinking... 'boy am I grown up now!'

"We mask our true feelings and cover up our sins."

I don't even know if at the time I really understood that my behavior was my attempt to cover up the hurt but boy it wasn't covering up sin. Before, I put up a shield of so called independence. Now I was putting up a shield of carelessness. It wasn't long and this lifestyle was wearing a young 21 year old girl out. It wasn't who I was and God reached down, grabbed my hand and rescued me from a pit of cover-up. It is still a journey I take with Him. I have come A LONG way, believe me! God allowed certain things to happen in order for me to be sifted... in order to come to Him, in order to realize what truly satisfies.

"It's hard for all of us at times to take a long, hard look in the mirror. When we do, we often don't like what we see, preferring to keep our ugly hidden... It is painful to admit that we have strong feelings of insecurity, jealousy, loneliness, and fear... often to the point of actions resulting from them. We find out pretty early in life that pretending is a great way to keep these feelings concealed from others and even from ourselves."

I have learned the hard way, through many lessons in my life, not just the lessons I learned as a reckless girl in her early 20's that God desires me to seek Him and His righteousness. To not be fearful, not be insecure, jealous or lonely. I thank Him for the journey He allowed me to take... that He was right there with me even when I wasn't always seeking Him and His ways. There is no doubt in my mind that He had a much bigger plan... and He would be the best "make-up" remover ever! The old Maybelline Queen had something to hide... the new Maybelline Queen is enhanced by the love and grace my King has lavished upon me.

19 comments:

Darlene said...

"The old Maybelline Queen had something to hide... the new Maybelline Queen is enhanced by the love and grace my King has lavished upon me."

I just love this quote!
I, too, am a major makeup girl. Lisa definitely had me curious about an analogy. Wonder what all I am covering up?? Why is it, exactly, that I love makeup so much?

You know, my love of makeup may have nothing to do with my true cover up... but it makes me wonder!

So glad to be on this journey with you,
Darlene

Cindy said...

You girls are all just so creative in your responses to each chapter. I love how each person adds their personality to their post.
I love the makeup picture.
I need much more makeup remover than all of your girls put together to get the layers off.
What a journey.
Cindy

Laura said...

Kristin,
I love what you say about using makeup to enhance! If we use those hurts from the past to make better choices, or to help others, we haven't been wounded in vain! (I love your picture of the makeup, BTW).
Enjoyed reading your thoughts!
luv,
laura

Connie said...

I love your analogy with makeup and concealer. Using God as the makeup remover. I will keep that thought for a long while. Enjoyed your sharing. Connie

KMTM1970 said...

I thank Him for the journey He allowed me to take... that He was right there with me even when I wasn't always seeking Him and His ways.

I too am thankful it is a journey and that we don't have to wallow in the fear and insecurities we acquire along the way.

I appreciate your post.

Kristy

nothingcanseparateme said...

Kristin,

Welcome back!

I love what you wrote about covering a blemish and making it "stand out" more just like covering a sin...you can't hide it for long.

Everyone has different comments on these chapters--I am learning so much.

have a good day,
Kim

Ang baylis said...

I love how you said you are using makeup to enhance what the Lord gave you! I want to read the rest of this, but my husband wants me to spend time with him. I'll be back Kristen! I LOVE your new pumpkin look! SO cute!
Love,
Angie xoxo

hkudla said...

This was an awesome post. I really enjoyed how you shared how you used "make up" and are now more real, going deeper in the journey, using makeup to enhance, not cover up....

Thank you so much for your thoughts.
God bless,
Heather

Amy said...

I love the perspective of the make up you wear now "enhancing" as opposed to "concealing."

And I love, love, love the word "lavish." *sigh* I love to be "lavished" with love from God. *sigh*

Beautiful thoughts, Kristen!

And I love your festive background.;)

God Bless,
Amy:)

On Purpose said...

Encouraged by your post to allow HIm to take off what I do as a coverup and allow His pure and true beauty enhance me!

Cute desigin on your blog!

Kim@Seasons of My Heart said...

Hey friend~
What a great post and I too love this quote:

"It's hard for all of us at times to take a long, hard look in the mirror. When we do, we often don't like what we see, preferring to keep our ugly hidden... It is painful to admit that we have strong feelings of insecurity, jealousy, loneliness, and fear... often to the point of actions resulting from them. We find out pretty early in life that pretending is a great way to keep these feelings concealed from others and even from ourselves."


I so what truth..... :-)

Kim @ My Journey said...

I love your words ~ "He wants us to healed, not concealed". This is an awesome post! I'm anxious to read this book myself! Have a wonderful day...

Christy said...

Kristen~

Thank you so much for sharing your story and what God has done in your life. You are so right, God does eventually call us out. I know He sure did with me and even though it hurt, it was worth it. He desired wholeness and healing long before I knew it's what I wanted or needed.

I love your last sentence!

Lelia Chealey said...

This was so honest and I'm sure hard for you to see on your blog, but God will bless you for your open heart with your Behind The Eyes sisters. So glad God got a hold of your heart. You are awesome!!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

The cover up is just plain exhausting! I see some of the things you're talking about here in the lives of my older two sons. They are struggling with identity issues right now, and it is sometimes painful to watch. Necessary, but hard nonetheless.

I have found tremendous freedom in just speaking the truth, all the time. In not pretending to be someone I'm not and being quick to admit when I've made a mistake.

Afterall, God sees clearly what I so often try to hide. How ridiculous to think that I could ever keep from Him what he already knows.

I loved these chapters in Lisa's book.

Also love your Fall blog look. Very soothing.

peace~elaine

Paula (SweetPea) said...

This is a good post, Kristen. I love all your analogies about make-up and sins, covering up versus enhancing. So glad God grabbed your heart and has shown Himself to you. I would've never guessed you to never go to a dance or have a boyfriend.

My parents divorced when I was three so I didn't suffer as much as I think I would've at an older age. I grew up to not really know any different.

Love,
Paula

Paula said...

I just read this today and it brought me to tears... I remember that boyfriend and I remember when you broke up, but I had moved away by then and I didn't know how hard it was for you. I'm so sorry you suffered so much. But don't you think that even the bad things that happen in our lives make us the person we are today? I truly believe that... God has a purpose for everything we experience. You are such a great person, a loving person... a different person than the girl I knew as a kid. You were wonderful then, but you're better now. I am so glad we have rediscovered each other!

Oh, and I didn't go to any dances until I was a senior, and you may recall that I ended up marrying that guy. :)

Carol said...

Kristin, welcome back, love the fall blog look. Oh girl did I relate to your post. I have been there done that, abandonment that is one of those fears that just manifests into all kinds of nasties.

I too am a makeup queen, love it I can play at a make up counter for days. I like that thought instead of covering up my flaws just enhancing what God gave me.

Have a blessed day,
Carol

Pamela (MrsJoeB) said...

We have become so good at concealing....maybe we can blame our love for make-up? It does hide or improve who we really are, right? makes you think....I am helping a friend go through a difficult time. She keeps trying to conceal her feelings, her sin. Been there-done that. How easy is is now for me to try and help her walk out of this situation. If I can just get her to remove the film over her eyes and see the truth satan is trying to hide.

In His Graces~Pamela