Week 2!
Ms. Perfection... hmmm... do I know her? Why yes! Have I tried to be her? Yes! Do I still struggle with trying to be her? Yes! Do I know better than to try and be her? Yes! Did this chapter slap me in the face? YES! Can you believe that even after reading the chapter, I have lamented over writing the perfect post on Ms. Perfection? How crazy is that!
"About halfway through the service, I looked down at my crisp, clean white linen skirt. That’s when I noticed a glaring flaw in the plan. Right down the middle of my skirt, stretching from my left side to my right, was a bright, royal blue pen mark smiling back at me. Horrified at what I saw, I realized the only way to remove the stain was to take it to the dry cleaners. I couldn’t believe that after all my stressing and striving, the look I wanted to achieve that Easter morning was ruined with a mark from my son’s pen. So much for perfection, I thought."
After reading Lisa's description of Easter Sunday, getting everyone dressed in their matchy matchy outfits, Lisa admiring how pretty she looked, and then the horror of seeing the pen mark down her crisp white skirt - I recalled a photo that was taken of me and Jim for our church directory several years ago. I spent time finding the perfect outfits for us to wear. I did my hair, makeup, found the perfect accessories... we were going to have the most beautiful church directory portrait. Imagine my surprise when I previewed the photo... everything was in place. Hair - perfect, clothing - perfect. Nailpolish - oops... big chip in the nail polish for all to see! What a reminder! I looked so put together, but that tiny chip (that looked huge to me) reminded me of my imperfection. No matter how hard I tried, I was not ever going to be perfect. I can put a bow on the package, but what's inside is broken. Like the Christmas gift we received one year... it was beautifully wrapped. But when I picked the package up the unmistakeable sound of broken glass sounded from inside the package. It was so pretty on the outside, but broken on the inside. Trying to cover up my imperfection with makeup and nice clothes... well that's like trying to put a band aid on a gunshot wound. It's just not going to work.
Over the years I have learned to be real with people. I reflected on the question Lisa asked in the Bible Study section of the book:
"Search your heart. Is it more important for you to be seen as perfect in a certain area.. or seen as real?"
Lord, I want to be real. I am so glad that what you desire from me is to be real, not perfect.
15 comments:
Kristen~
What a journey we are all on...a journey to find real love, and affection. We may THINK we can find it through "acting" perfect, but the reality of that is a "fake" sorta love.
I too, love this quote: "Search your heart. Is it more important for you to be seen as perfect in a certain area.. or seen as real?"
What...what great food for thought.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts friend!!!
I want to be real right along with you. Enjoyed your thoughts today. COnnie
Beautifully wrapped, broken inside. I wrote the same words in my post this morning.
Many of us do the same thing. How silly are we. But what intersting ways God bring us to our knees.
Great post.
Cindy
I too am very critical seeking perfection when I look at pics. Even pics that are taken at birthday parties or holidays. I want those pics to be perfect to capture that moment that can never be captured again.
I loved your intro. You made me laugh about trying to write a perfect post on Ms. Perfection. ME TOO!!!
I can soooo relate.
To think that a chip in our nail polish could very well throw us over the edge:)
Love your post!
Sometimes I think God does things like the fingernail polish chip just to remind us that He cares more about our hearts. I have found that being real is a journey for me. There are times when it comes naturally, but there are times when I am riddled with insecurity and being open feels like walking around naked! But He peels that away when i turn to Him. It all falls in its proper place.
So nice to read your thoughts!
Thanks for sharing your heart!
I think I need to keep the quote about wanting to be seen as real or perfect in a place where I can be reminded of this. I'm just so thankful for God's grace and how patient he is with me.
I wonder how many other people who are in this study felt they had to write the "perfect" post? Thanks for being real about that:)
Oh girl, you had me laughing out loud with this one: "Can you believe that even after reading the chapter, I have lamented over writing the perfect post on Ms. Perfection? How crazy is that!"
I resemble that comment......
Glad to be on this journey with you!
Darlene
Kristen, you are right, we can't covwer our wounds with just a bandaid. We can only cover them with Christ. Isn't it amazing how bi the small things seem to us when we are full of ourself?!?!? Sad. Walking this journey with you! Thanks for sharing!
In His Graces~Pamela
Thanking God for your very real heart and your journey toward him! That's authenticity friend, moving in the direction of Jesus will always yield truth.
peace~elaine
What a great post. I love this "Trying to cover up my imperfection with makeup and nice clothes... well that's like trying to put a band aid on a gunshot wound. It's just not going to work" How true that is. I find my self dressing my wounds alot.
Carol
Thank you Kristen for his honest post...I can relate on more levels than I really want to admit, but it really does come down to being real. This is something that has been on my mind so much over the past year or so. Praise the Lord for being perfect so we don't have to. He is our best example of humility. His ability and wanting to be real with people has taught me so much. Thanks again.
Kristen,
I love the line "it was so pretty on the outside but broken on the inside" because I look at other people and think man, she has it all together just like Lisa when she talked about the married couple looking like the perfect couple, then Gog says yea but you don't know whats going on "on the inside" so just be thankful for where you are. He has taught be alot in almost 62 years but thank godness he isn't through with me yet.
Kristen,
How completely awesome that you admitted to your struggle for Ms. Perfection, even down to writing the perfect post about her! Loved that very "real" blogging moment. :) I'm sure we've all been there, friend.
I was so moved by your email. Please know that I walk this journey with you. I have prayed for you by name tonight!
Lisa :)
Hi again, Kristen!
I realized tonight, after posting the previous comment to you yesterday, that the email I got and was referring to was from another Kristen! So sorry for the mix-up! Her email DID move me...and so did you post.
How's that for a dose of non-perfection? :)
Lisa
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